


Lost in the Mix

by missberrycake



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-18
Updated: 2011-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missberrycake/pseuds/missberrycake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which nobody understands what's going on. </p><p>Inspired by <a href="http://inception-kink.livejournal.com/19632.html?thread=46674608#t46674608">a prompt</a> on the Inception kink-meme: "Eames tells the team that he's 'just nipping out for a fag'. (As in cigarette). The team is confused/bemused/horrified/disturbed, etc. and Arthur has to explain."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in the Mix

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, thus it might be a tad rubbish.

Arthur kept one eye on Cobb’s pacing while he waited for Eames to pick up the phone.

“Arthur! I’ve missed you terribly! How have you been?” Arthur rolled his eyes, a small smile threatening his features.

“Eames, you saw me not one hour ago, remember? When you said”, he put on his best British accent and scrunched up his face, “’I’ll be right behind you darling, I’m going to try and find a proper cuppa in this unenlightened city.’ Where the heck are you? Cobb’s fuming.”

“What do you mean ‘Where the heck am I’? Where bloody hell are you lot? I’m sitting here all on my todd, waiting for you – did something come up?”

Arthur paused to look around the room in confusion. “Eames you’re not here, because I’m here with Cobb and Ariadne waiting for you.”

“Did you check the cupboard? I might be hiding.” Arthur could hear the mirth in Eames’ voice. 

“Eames, goddamnit. Stop messing about a get your ass here now.” 

“Sorry sweetheart, I am here. Livingston Avenue, Richmond Building, 1st Floor, 3rd Door on the left, second star on the right and straight on ‘till morning. Here.” By the sound of his voice Eames was getting as sick of the confusion as Arthur was. 

“You’re sure you went in the right building? The one opposite the tree sculpture?” There was a pause that Arthur interpreted as dignified silence. “Alright then – talk me through it, we’ll find out where you went wrong”. He heard Eames huff from down the line.

“I didn’t go wrong Arthur. I stopped at a cafe down the road from our hotel, passed the metal tree, walked in the door, up the stairs, through the other door and into this seat, where I have been waiting for your finely clad behind ever since.”

Arthur looked up to the ceiling and sighed. It’s stupid really, how such much a minor misunderstanding can set the team back an entire hour before they’d even begun.

“No, Eames. I said first floor. You went to the second floor. Come down.” 

“Oh no – first floor Arthur. First floor is up stairs. You’re on the ground floor. Ground floor, first floor, second floor. That is how it goes. You lot got it wrong, I am right, thus I get to do naughty this to you tonight.” Arthur thought Eames sounded rather smug, which must be remedied, even if naughty things were going to be done later.

“We’re in America Eames. You can forget you quaint little British eccentricities now. First floor, second floor, third floor. They’re the rules. Get a move on.” Arthur smirked slightly as he heard Eames mumble something about ‘the foundation of the English language and American desecration’ before hanging up.

And that was when Arthur found himself recruited as Eames’ official translator. 

~

“... and so I was walking around without my pants on, and Mal’s mom says to me-“

“I’m sorry, you were walking around without your pants on at an elderly ladies birthday party and no one minded?” Eames interrupted Cobb’s story with a look of horror on his face, as if Cobb had just told them all he had punched Mal’s mother in the face. Arthur set his work aside to follow the scene before him.

“Well, I don’t think they were overly pleased, but they saw the funny side” Cobb answered, seeming slightly perplexed. 

“It’s not that bad Eames. It’s hilarious! When did you turn into such a square?” Ariadne shoved Eames’ arm playfully, still giggling.

“I’m not a square!” Eames used air quotes around the word ‘square’. “Forgive me for having a modicum of respect. I just don’t think people should go around flashing old women left right and centre”. 

As Cobb and Ariadne stared towards Eames, mouths wide, while Eames stared back, disgust written over his face, Arthur thought it was time to come to his rescue.

“Trousers.”

“Sorry, pet?” Eames turned to him quickly, as though worried Arthur too, had descended into madness.

“ Pants as in trousers, not pants as in underwear.” Arthur laughed softly as the expression on Eames’ face melted into dawning realisation.

“Oh. Right!” Eames turned to Cobb, “you were talking to Mal’s mum in your underwear! That’s fine, that’s good. Carry on” Arthur turned back to his desk after Eames encouraged Cobb eagerly to finish his story.

“... anyway, so Mal’s mom says to me...” 

“It’s ridiculous.” Eames says as his slid his chair over to Arthur, Ariadne dissolving in to tears in the background. “I know ‘pants’ mean ‘trousers’ over here, but the minute it comes up in conversation, I forget. Not a great trait in a forger, really.” Eames leaned onto Arthur’s desk and looked up at the point man. A fond smile spreading over his face at Eames’ despair, he moved in close to Eames’ ear.

“Hey, come on. As long as your characters remember, right? You never get it wrong on the job, you’re the best.” Eames seemed mollified. 

“I am rather brilliant. You’re not so bad yourself, you know”. Arthur pulled himself upright, straightened his already straight tie.

“I know”. Eames smiled. “Anyway, I’ve always got your back. I’ll only let you make an ass of yourself for a couple of minutes, max.” Arthur smirked. Eames gave him a shove and kissed his hairline before wheeling himself back to his desk.

~

About a week later, they had finished the extraction, got their money and were spending their last evening in the country laying low in Ariadne’s hotel room. 

Somehow he and Eames had managed to get a space on the bed, Cobb left to the over-stuffed chair and Ariadne cross-legged on the floor. Not that he was complaining, as he pillowed his head on Eames’ shoulder. It was nice.

“Aww! Look at you to, all coupley. It’s so cute!” Ariadne piped up from the floor, clapping her hands excitedly.

“You’ll get bored of it. They’re always like this off work” Cobb monotoned, not taking his eyes of the tiny TV screen in front of him, as he shovelled peanuts into his mouth. Ariadne shot him a glare, which he completely missed. 

“Well, I still think you’re both adorable”. She concluded, with a nod of her head.

“Why thank you, Miss Ariadne, I think we’re adorable too” Eames sat up, shifting Arthur to the side. He patted down his pockets, frowning, and let his hands fall. “Bugger, I’m out.” He turned towards the other two, “Can I bum a fag?”

Arthur sat up on the bed, torn between laughing and crying. 

Peanuts littered the floor as Cobb stood and blinked in Eames’ direction, colour rising in his neck. Arthur could see he was moving his mouth, although no words escaped. 

Ariadne flicked a peanut from her hair, eyes wide, and pointed accusatorially towards Eames. “What! Eames! You can’t say that. That’s ... that’s just ... why would ...” she flapped her arms in Eames’ general direction. 

“Alright, alright, calm down. I know it’s a bad habit, but we’re celebrating, right?”

“What! I will not calm down! Celebrating! How can you say that in front of Arthur?” Eames looked at Arthur.

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind-“

“Of course Arthur minds” Cobb leapt in, indignant, as Ariadne floundered, “it’s amazingly offensive and disrespectful, Eames. I expected more from you.” Eames took a step back, hands held up in defeat. 

“Ok. You’ve lost me. I’ll just go buy some, blimey.” He almost made it to the door, bless him.

“BUY SOME! EAMES!” Ariadne started picking handfuls of peanuts off the floor and hurling them at Eames’ retreating back as he vanished around the corner, screaming.

“You’re all insane! I haven’t had one for weeks, for pity’s sake!”

Arthur coughed from his place on the bed. “Guys, chill. Eames didn’t mean that-“

“Don’t defend him Arthur, it’s not right what-“ Arthur could feel one of Cobb’s dad lectures coming, which were never good.

“Cobb! He wanted to borrow a cigarette!”

Ariadne paused mid peanut-throw, while Cobb got caught mid frantic-gesticulation. “Sorry?”

“He wanted to borrow a cigarette, not have a sex with a homosexual ... although I’m sure that’s never far from his mind.” Ariadne let a small, shocked laugh. “It’s just how the British say things. I think, it might just be Eames” he added.

“Oh” Cobb dropped his arms.

“How awkward” Ariadne smoothed her hair down “Sorry, that’s, hmm ...”

Arthur tried to hide his smile, “It’s alright guys. I’ll just go, um, explain to him”. Arthur slid past a stuck to the spot Cobb and ran down the corridor, his laughter echoing down the hall.


End file.
